shitty garbage shitty garbage

hi everyone, bea's back. also bea's back, hurts.


coming back from my vacation, i was surprised that my fucked up knee never bothered me despite the walking and the standing literally nonstop for 12 hours a day 3 days straight. i consider this a victory over my body. eat shit, body! it has been reduced to threat level "wait and see (long-term)".


"wow, what a great trip" i thought to myself getting off the plane. then i came home and sat down for 1 second and my hips exploded into a million pieces.


holy shit!! my joints felt like they were being used to grind glass. for literally a week and a half, my walking speed was reduced to "newborn calf wobble". i tried not to move as much as i could, but even sitting left my sides so sore i couldn't sleep well.


and if that weren't enough: immediately after my hips fused back together, my ass bones exploded. you would think the ass bones would be a part of the hips or the tail bone but its actually it's own thing (source: me) and it made sitting (a pretty significant part of my sluggish existence) near impossible. since standing hurts my poor widdle knees, i was a little fucked when it came to getting work done.

so, i would push it off until the last possible moment, resulting in occasionally late pages (sincerely sorry about those) and all-nighters that kept me up until my 9am deadline (which i actually love but i know they're shaving years off my lifespan. i like the pressure!!). in the end, i had to sit on like 2 pillows of varying firmness like a really shitty fairy tale princess. i am protected from sciatica based damage.


at first, i felt kind of (okay, really) ridiculous about my complete lack of pain tolerance, but realized that i have been in pain for a long time. it was just never this bad; it took the form of restless tossing and turning while trying to sleep, or not being able to run at all, or having some limpy days. days when you just limp. this was just normal to me. i dont know. i just assumed this was the hand i was dealt and that was that. some people were limpers and had shitty legs. i guess that's still true. this isn't the place for this.


the good news is that it seems like it can be reversed with p.t. (which i am doing nightly oof ow my bones). i will make a longer post proper on the blog. this is already too long.


all this to say: thank you very much for your continued support in spite of my inability to fulfill many promises and rewards i have been trying to achieve for a long time. i really believe this will get better and i am taking the steps to better my output again.


final thought: what if finally being to sleep well cures all of my problems. hahah just kidding.........unless?

no context
the dark is always brightest just before the soul

to the surprise of no one, i started playing dark souls again. while i am still not permitted by myself to play elden ring (it will literally for real completely ruin any focus i have on my job), i once again let a big crow scoop me up and take me to lordran, land of the gods, so i could get my shit wrecked. this also meant i got to return to my favorite places: the wikis.

we were in some dark (lol) fucking places before elden ring came out, man. look at this, this is so sad. gamers only do this when VERY DEPRESSED!!

anyway, there are 3 wikis for dark souls (4 for bloodborne O_O). the fandom wiki:

the fextralife wiki:

and the furtive easily forgotten....and not even remotely funny enough to screencap. the wikidot guys are the only people with accurate information about poise, though. no other wiki has it. what the fuck.


the fauna of fextralife has always had a little more pep in its step, for better or for worse. here's some better ones.

these are about ornstein. you know. of "and smough" fame. the furry.

the wikis (collectively....uh, between the three of them) are home to a bountiful collection of information and high res images. for example: now i can look at alvina head-on and stare at her like she's marina abramovic.

let's see what the modders have cooked up for us.

great, thanks guys. now over to the data miners with the most exciting recent revelation....a never before seen asset.....a totally new....unique.....


well, at least we can laugh at yhorm's dumb face.

did you know.....?

when you are (uh, were) sentenced to death by hanging in england, the judge stops to put on his death sentence hat. it's the shittiest hat you've ever seen in your life.

this is so disrespectful wtf

you know...this website really is etc.

i'd never heard this one before but: the EVE, starcraft, or space station 13 goons pop up at least once a year with some kind of "drama" that finally boils over from the game servers to the forums. these range from public embarrassments to another horrific sex scandal to literal felonies.

apparently, years ago, a goon with absolutely 0 grey matter between his ears started popping off in the ss13 chat about committing a school shooting....but his username could be easily used to find his real name, location and probably where he prefers to take his shits too if he was this cavalier with everything else.

the chatlogs were turned over to the FBI. and the guy who turned them over then had to explain some of the chat actions to the federal government.

consumer corner

aliexpress is home to both highly niche items of interest to very specific people and the most insane shit you've ever seen. a recent preoccupation with keycaps lead me down a rabbit hole of extremely weird keys and one hysterical promo image made by a post-modern genius.


here are the best of the best. there's a lot. but like. what a plethora of odd themes and ways of expressing those themes.

there are a shocking amount of milk-based keycaps. if there's one thing gamers love, it's milk (?).

a big problem with these is that you can't buy individual novelties. i want a NO! button so bad

fuck yeah dude

the keycap set is unremarkable but the ad features some sentences in microsoft fonts that are absolutely captivating in their madness. every time i look at it, i see something new.


that does it for this corner. let's do one last section.

zelda zone

adam found this channel called "loogyi bros" that has a playlist dedicated to the truly esoteric and unusual zelda 64...stuff. random stuff. they're right. these are a numbered list of things i didnt know.


check them out!


dont be fooled, this first video may contain much knowledge you already possess....but go further and you will see....shit you didnt know. like, wtf? how did i not know this.

the other channel is "any austin", who looks at "unremarkable" (his word, but a good word for it? that doesn't make them not compelling in an odd sort of way) and out-of-the-way places in nintendo 64 era video games, especially "majora's mask" and OOT. a must see for anyone who enjoys the slightly alien feeling of games from that era. they felt like a 1980s vision of what entertainment would look like in the year 2065 or whatever. im going to be digging into more of these right now.

well, that's all....FOR RIGHT NOW!!! this is too long. i will send another one later in the month about the art form known as "comics" because have been having a lot of thoughts about them lately. i have some old-coot ravings about terrible trends in comics to link to and some recommendations for great comics i picked up last month. plus, some stuff about "a ghost story", just for fun. and profit...? mostly fun.


oh yeah, and i have a new twitter. i deadass have no idea what happened to the last one. what a mystery.


see you soon.

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